The New Zealand Man In His Own Words

A few years ago, I put a personal ad up online. Reading through the profiles of men who sent me a “smile” signal or who were matched to me automatically by the personals site, here is what I learned about the New Zealand Man.

Personality-wise, the New Zealand man is a relaxed specimen. He has “got a sence of humor (sometimes it`s a bit strange)”, and is “goal orintated and set hi standards for myself.” The New Zealand man asserts his normalcy with statements like, “Fairly laid back, does not take life too seriously,” “a very non threaening person,” “The vampire lifestyle just isn’t for me,” and “fun loving & happy to lie about how we met.”

What does the New Zealand man like to do? They are “passionate about fihing,” “flying, fishing, shooting,” “motorbikes, fishing and building things, walking,” “fishing,holidays,and casino,” “dogs fishing hunting”. I’m so glad I’m not a fish. New Zealand Man has a can-do attitude, always “upgrading the house” and pitching their woo by noting “i might come in handy to sort out problems with computers or Automotive Engineering.” Their dream vacation seems to be either a motorcycle trip across the U.S.A, or the desire to see the obscure corners of seven continents.

Where food is concerned, the New Zealand man is a carnivore, when he is not semi-vegetarian, and has pedestrian tastes, unless he is adventurous. Those who enjoy meat are firm in their preference, “Bacon &eggs, Meat&three veges, roasts etc.” “mmmm steak!!!” “wholesome meat,” “i d have to say i enjoy roast chicken.” For each guy who likes “Pasta, fish, chicken” is someone who boldy says “I don’t like pasta”. For themselves, they cook “stews, bolognese, steak, or what looks really nice in the cook book.” The results are often “surprising meals (even to myself)”. Wisely, the New Zealand man notes, “i dont find cooking that difficult, cleaning up is the big bug bare.”

Musically, the 80s live on; several fellows have as their latest new album Meatloaf’s Greatest Hits and works by David Lee Roth, Dire Straits, the Clash – have any albums been released in New Zealand since 1989? And is Peter Jackson’s oeuvre so irresistible that his films are cited again and again as a most recently seen movie? With the printed page, the New Zealand man leans towards enjoying nonfiction and classics such as “The Great Gasby”.

Spiritually, the New Zealand man is in touch with his emotions. These gentlemen are “happy go luck ,very romantic, very spiritual mined.” In amour, if not in guerre, “politics is for the useless monkeys.” In a romantic mood, they “enjoy night’s out on the town winning and dining.” Simple pleasures reign – The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayann is evoked by the wish for “A nice meal then the company of a caring loving woman,” the humble desire for “a nice lady to have outting’s with.”

Overall, New Zealand men are open to women as they truly are in finding their match – each understated wish for someone “fit” is paralleled with someone else’s bolder “appearance is less important than the person inside.” That said, there seems to be a striking amount of New Zealand men who dig tall chicks. “I’m into taller women — at least 167cm / 5’6″ would be great.” “Tall women only!!!” “On the tallish side.”

Above all, New Zealand men are true individuals…receiving 40th birthday gifts of a unicycle and a bottle of tequila…working on becoming an eccentric millionaire…drilling for oil in the sub-Antarctic…frequently a loner…wanting to set up wood shops or work on jewelry…photographing tigers…building model tanks…dancing up a storm…firing up the RV and heading off towards the horizon.

New Zealand Man, you make the copyeditor in me sigh in despair, even as the woman in me salutes you fondly.

For more of the New Zealand Man in his own words, with the benefit of some serious writing talent, check out Tim Jones’ new poetry collection. “Men Briefly Explained explores all aspects of contemporary manhood, the humourous and not so humourous, where men are in relation to women and to society in general. ” Click on the image for more!

I'm so glad we have this book at last.


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